Holy Crap Bitches, it’s been too long!

Wow, kiddies—

It’s been literally a few days since I actually posted something for your edification and enlightenment.

But, then, August is always busy times for me. And then this year I kept getting these calls from bitches in Washington, saying “Lizzie, you’re so smart and funny and dead, come help us solve this debt ceiling shiznet.”

An’ I was all: “Lookit freaks, I got a blog to write,” an’ the was all “but, gurl, we need you,” an’ I was all, “But I’m dead, I don’t give a shit about no debt ceiling,” and they was all, “but we need you and you’re real pretty.”

So, I gave in! I descended amongst those Washington bitches, and I was all: “Look, you wanna deal with the debt, then people need to pull their fair share, and them bitch mofos gotsta pay they taxes.”

And the was all: “but how are we gonna get elected if we don’t slow-kiss rich people?”

An’ I was all: “you aint gonna get elected either way at this point.”

Clearly they didn’t listen. That’s fine. A 14% approval is good, right? It means 14% of the people are too drunk or too stupid to know whatchoo up to.

Anyway, that was such a traumatic experience, I had’a take some time off from allayall human bitches…. an’ while I was away, I guess y’all decided to burn down England. Seems like a logical thing to do, right?

Anyhoozins.

I had a little time to write a little note lettin you know what I been up to.

Whatchoo been up to?

Tap tap tap. Hellooooooo??? Anyone there?